Amish Devotional: God Has Provided by Kelly Irvin
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
—2 Corinthians 12:9 (ɴɪᴠ)
This is the verse on which I based the story of Bethel Graber, the main character in Love Still Stands, which is the first book in the New Hope Amish series published by Harvest House. Bethel, who was a school teacher, suffered injuries to her legs in a terrible storm and could no longer teach. She feared she wouldn’t be able to be a good fraa or mudder, either. Who would marry her? She prayed for healing, yet it didn’t come, not in the manner she hoped or expected.
Little did I know when I wrote this story that I would experience something similar in my life. It wasn’t a storm, but my own body that rebelled against me. About six months ago I found myself losing my ability to walk. I couldn’t do aerobics anymore, run on the treadmill, or zip across the street to beat traffic on my way to work. It was like losing the ability to breathe.
After a series of doctor’s appointments and endless x-rays and MRIs, I learned scoliosis, which I’d been born with more than 50 years ago, was the culprit. My spine was so crooked the spinal cord was being compressed, causing nerve damage that affected my muscles’ ability to do their job. Long story short, I had surgery to correct it in October, but not before the neurosurgeon went to great lengths to make sure I understood I might not ever walk normally again.
Now I’m in the rehabilitation stage, and I’m learning it’s possible that he was right. I pray every day that he was wrong, but no matter how much physical therapy I do, my normal, carefree stride has not returned. I can’t bend over. I have trouble tying my own shoes. I shuffle along with a cane, feeling like an old lady. Yes, I admit it, sometimes I feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I wonder how I could have written such a story with such a blithe offering of God’s will and God’s timing and God’s provision.
And then I think, Where would I be without Him? God has provided. He has provided truly phenomenal medical care. He’s provided outstanding health insurance. He’s given me a husband who arose in the middle of the night to turn me over when I couldn’t turn myself over in bed, and who helped me shower and get to the restroom. Who cooks, cleans, buys groceries, and does laundry because I can’t yet do all those things myself. When the doctor explained to us that my surgery would require me to learn to walk again and that rehabilitation could take six months to a year, Tim’s response was to remind me of our vows: in sickness and in health. He has more than lived up to his end of what surely isn’t much of a bargain for him. No matter what Hollywood may tell us, this is true romantic love.
On February 14, Tim and I celebrated our twenty-seventh wedding anniversary. Like Bethel, I am trying to learn to accept that I may not get the answer to my prayers that I so desperately want, but God has a plan for me and He knows why this is happening to me (and to Tim). He is made strong in my weakness. His plan will be revealed in His time.
I know I’m not the only one out there who is struggling with this battle, so I offer a prayer for you and for myself:
Heavenly Father, You are the Great Physician. I ask for a miracle of healing for myself and others who are suffering ailments they can’t bear. I know You will do what is best for Your children. You will provide for us in all our needs as You see fit. Give us the strength and the perseverance to run the race You have set for us. Strengthen our faith even as our bodies fail. We ask this in the mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
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Kelly Irvin is a Kansas native and has been writing professionally for over 30 years. She and her husband, Tim, make their home in Texas. They have two children, two grandchildren, two cats, and a tankful of fish. To learn more about her work, visit www.kellyirvin.com.
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Kelly you are truly an inspiration to me.
Gods blessings in your rehab and recovery !
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May God help you to return to full free movement. Stay strong.
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Kelly Irvin Reply:
February 24th, 2015 at 6:43 pm
Thanks, Deborah!
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Such an inspiring story. I was just lamenting this morning about my ailments that keep me awake almost every night from chronic pain. Wondering why God does not heal me. But your story has inspired me to just trust him in the midst of it all. Because he does have a plan for my life.
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Kelly Irvin Reply:
February 24th, 2015 at 6:45 pm
Sometimes it’s hard, Debi, but we know He is with us always! I know He’s honing us for greater things.
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Awesome testimony of your faith ,trust and love in your Heavenly Father !!! By what you wrote you can tell that you are allowing His joy ,peace to carry you .blessings,DanaGirl
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Kelly Irvin Reply:
February 24th, 2015 at 6:46 pm
Thank you, Dana!
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God bless you in your recovery. May he grant you the strength to walk without assistance of any type. But always know that he walks beside you.
Love your books. Thanks for being an inspiration to many.
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Kelly Irvin Reply:
March 4th, 2015 at 3:54 pm
Thanks, Donna, I appreciate your kind words!
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Thanks, Donna. I’m so glad you enjoy the books. That makes my day!
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I am a divorced, single father who is caring for my 18 year old daughter that has spinal muscular atrophy. I as well have to turn her at night (sometimes several times) as well as hold down a job and do the chores at home. She got the surgery for scoliosis and has a number of joint contractors as well as respiratory issues and yet she is really close with the Lord. I can somewhat understand your battle, respect and praise the Lord for your attitude…. and will make it a point to keep you in daily prayer.
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Kelly Irvin Reply:
February 25th, 2015 at 4:15 pm
Larry, I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers as well. You have a tough row to hoe! Your prayers are greatly appreciated!
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My friend, this post brought tears to my eyes. So proud of you and your courage and your faith. Blessings on you and Tim and all of your family, and thank you for using your talent for the Lord’s work.
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Kelly Irvin Reply:
February 25th, 2015 at 4:15 pm
Thanks, Vannetta. Your kind words mean a lot to me!
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Kelly, You are an inspiration! May God continue to enfold you and Tim in His tender, loving care! Linda
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Kelly, your story is very inspiring. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. May God be beside you in your recovery with every step you take and you will get stronger. Good Bless you and Tim
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I appreciate your transparency in sharing your medical journey.
My brother, Geoff Knowell is on a medical journey too. Eighteen months ago, he learned that he had a plum size brain tumor behind his left eye. He had surgery and thought everything was okay. Then he started feeling bad and had another MRI. The tumor returned! This time, after having the tumor removed, he has double vision in his left eye and still feels bad alot of the time. The tumor is non-malignant but the doctor said it will most likely come back. He’s struggling with this…
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Kelly Irvin Reply:
March 4th, 2015 at 3:55 pm
My prayers are with your brother, Gail . It’s a tough road! Trying to stay strong in the face of a medical battle that doesn’t seem to let up can be so hard. We try to find the kernels we can be thankful for and know whatever happens, God is there!
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Hi Kelly, Thank you for sharing your story. I have been praying for you. It sounds like a long, tough road, but with God with you every step of the way, and such a wonderful, loving husband, I have faith you are going to see things get better. I have learned after the last 20 years to endure, after being in a car/semi-truck accident with my best friend, that my body is giving out on me. But I am still here! I fractured my spine at the base of my skull, but my Guardian Angel was with me that day. Any lower, and I would have been paralyzed from the neck down. Now my spine is disintegrating, and I also walk and shuffle along with a cane. I endure and get through each day only with my Faith, God’s Mercy, and my husband Jymm of 26 years. Thank you for writing, and sharing your talent with your readers. This book hit home with me. I read it at a time I was feeling sorry for myself. You gave me hope to keep on! I am a huge fan of Amish fiction, and even though I no longer can do as much as before, I can still read. I feel Blessed with each book, and share these Blessings with others. I found this posting after a tough night (I had a spinal epidural 3 days ago), and already feel better after reading your blog. We are never alone with Christ on our side. May you continue to gain strength each day, and thank you!
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Thank you for sharing your story, Judith. It helps to know others are on the similar journeys. I’m so glad my stories give you some escape and relief. Writing them does the same for me. I love escaping into my fiction world and getting to know these characters and their stories. I hope you also gain strength each day. Take care!
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